Dear The One Who Made Me Love Again,
There is something about getting over your first love, that seems like the world is never going to see the light of day again. Your heart is broken into a million pieces and though you find yourself being able to go on with your daily life, there is still a part of you that feels unlovable again. Your heart is locked and your hope in love is low. You only see love as something portrayed through a film lens.
I think it stems from the fact that your first love is all you know. It’s the only thing you are familiar with, and having that end, especially when it’s on a super bitter note, you really don’t understand what love really is anymore. You don’t know what it means to be loved by a significant other, and if you are anything like me, the feeling that it is out there is slim to none.
I didn’t realize that my heart could open again, and so much more than it ever did before. I didn’t know that I was cable of loving like I do now. There is a moment that you step into that realization that makes it so apparent the things you were missing before.
I feel being in the position now, I wouldn’t be able to love like this if I never experienced the first love and experience the heartbreak from my first relationship. Now, I am not dismissing people who have only ever been with one significant other, but I am saying that having gone through that personally, I would have never learned that I was ever holding back and learned that it’s possible to let your heart grow so much more.
If anyone knows my past, knows that my first breakup was the farthest thing from easy. It involved lying, manipulating, cheating, drugs, alcohol and everything in between. It was a roller coaster of a ride, and an unpleasant one to say the least. But I don’t regret it at all, if anything I thank it because even if it defined my perception of what being loved meant, it made me realize what I truly was missing and made me appreciate so much more what life handed me this time around.
This time around, I learned to let go. I learned to let my heart love as much has it can. I know that I have been able to survive a heartbreak that I never thought I was going to able to live through. I have survived being so hurt to the point I never felt I was ever going to be in a normal relationship again.
But I wouldn’t have been able to learn to love without the help of that one person who stepped in my life six short months ago. Learning to love again is easy when you find the right person. All the sudden the doubt and mystery somehow wash away. Though I was scared to let my guard down, I couldn’t help but feel my heart start to open up all on its own and I just kept falling again, but this time I fell in such a different way. I fell right into another dimension.
It’s possible to love again. You are never as unlovable as you think you are. There is someone out there meant to unravel that in you. It comes at the moment in your life you need it the most and it comes at the point when you are most ready for it. Just never lose faith that it’s possible, because it is.
So Thank You.
Thank you to the one who made me realize I can love again. Thank you for letting me experiment further with the this thing they call love. Thank you for letting me trust you and letting me go on this adventure with you. I truly believe that I have found something special with you and I hope our story doesn’t end soon. Without you I wouldn’t be where I am today. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned self happiness. I wouldn’t have learned to let my heart go and love whole heartily and openly. I wouldn’t have learn that true love really does exist.
And for all that, I promise to never take you for granted.
P.S. Look out for my next post being about Tips to Paris and Cover Letter/Resume Hints!