Having independence from people is one thing, being completely alone is another.
One can have independence with a huge support system and be the strongest they have ever been, while another is completely alone, feeling as if they don’t have any support. In some cases that is true (due to the people they surround themselves with) and in others it’s not and most of the time I would say not. People just don’t realize who they have around them to use as a resource to provide amazing support. Regardless, even people who feel completely alone, I can guarantee that there is at least one person who will always stick up for them and be there for them if they allow them to be.
That’s the key aspect. IF they allow them to be. One has to be open enough to accept their support and by doing so, I firmly believe that surrounding yourself with the strongest support system you will reach your goals and dreams you have always wished to seek.
It’s never easy finding those that will do this for you, and I am extremely fortunate, after recent traumatic events, to have realized how much of a support system I actually have. That even in my darkest hours I have family and friends who have brought comfort in my times of need, who have brought me security and strength to heal, and move forward in my life. Not only have they done that, but they push me forward into pursuing my dreams and push me to become the person they know I can be. Those are the people everyday one should surround themselves with and strive to look for in any type of relationship.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are always people in which you believe are there for you but really just end up screwing you over hard (which is where I understand letting people in gets hard because it’s a coin toss nowadays). I mean there are people who will only support you through the good times because when the going gets rough, they hide or just disappear.
Why do people do this?
I mean Maya Angelou says a quote in which she says: “Each of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm. When we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other because each of us is alike than we are unalike.” It’s true but why do people still screw others over in their most time of need when everyone goes through it? And this question could have many answers. They could be going through their own struggles to the point where they can’t handle others or they truly just don’t care about dealing with other people’s hurt. Those people are hard to weed out but it’s possible and usually never easy. I am not going to lie, I have gone through my fair share to find the core group I have now but re-evaluating the people in your life is an important thing one needs to do once in a while. It hurts weeding people out but they hinder your progress of moving forward. I understand its hard but I hate to break it to you, the relationship was ultimately only supporting one side and not the other.
One needs to focus on the people who even in your darkest times are there right by your side, even if you are the ugliest you have ever been. It’s like the pictured quote above, a true relationship (whether that be between a partner, parent, or friend) is derived from someone who can be there even through the ugly. They push you to become the best person you can be and are there to remind you of that daily.
I am someone who needs to constantly talk about my problems to the people I love and gain reassurance for me to move forward. It doesn’t take an average person to handle that and I have seen that and witnessed it but thorough it the important people have stuck through and are still going through my struggles with me.
Which takes me to saying, everyone is not alone, and although everyone has that feeling, granted some more than others, one isn’t. It is hard to remember that.
About 5 weeks ago after a traumatic even occurred, I felt the most alone I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt I needed to keep everything in and just not bother telling others. Granted, I was dependent on a person but I never really let anyone fully in, I shut everyone out. I didn’t realize until I ran away one night to that persons house I was depend on that I was living in my own world of hurt and numbness. I was hiding from myself and hindering my process of healing. I needed to share and I did and the response was enormous and positive, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without me initially taking that step forward.
And so, if you are someone who is stuck in a place where they feel alone, just realize you aren’t. It does take extra steps to remove oneself from that funk and it is easier to stay alone rather than venture out and find the people who truly are there to support you but once you find those people and realize they are there for you, utilize them to your advantage. Use them to find your self, to gain confidence, to gain perspective, to gain strength.
I can say for one that you have me, even if you do or don’t know me, you have me. I get everyone goes through hard times and needs support like I have received. I am always here to listen and read (contact info is on my about page, just click on my picture and should pop up). As Maya Angelou says, we need to be here for each other. I am here for you, so that’s one person on your list to support and I can guarantee if you look there is more (even past all the fake A**holes).
I hope each and every one of you has and receives the support I have to become the best person you can be and to have the courage to be able to venture and find those people.
P.S. I would like to take a moment to thank my support system personally. You guys have given me so much strength and courage than I could have ever asked for. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means the world. (you know exactly who you guys are)