Being independent is something everyone should strive to be, whether that be independent from one’s parents or be independent from one’s partners. Going to college brings that certain independence from one’s parents or guardians, you are forced to live on your own and be on your own but I feel independence goes farther than literally being physically independent. Being emotionally independent is important too. I recently went through a nasty break up, that I will spare you the details from, but it was pretty nasty. I realized as my time with my ex ended, I found something about myself. As I was started to live my life without this person I have been attached at the hip with for over a year, I realized I could do things I could never do before just because I was in a relationship. I never realized how restricted I was, and realized I couldn’t do certain things just because my ex would freak out about them if I did (could be something so simple as wearing a crop top). I didn’t have that independence.
Disclaimer: I am not saying my ex is a bad person at all. He isn’t by any means. We just aren’t meant for each other.
Anyways, I am a very independent person. I deal with a lot of things by myself and like to have my freedom. Most of me and my ex’s problems lied with trust issues. We couldn’t trust each other for certain reasons, and that is when the restriction of inepencne came. I also became dependent on him to make me happy and to find my happiness. I was finding happiness in someone else rather than the things I love to do, like working or my friends.
Like I said after the first week of the breakup, I realized something was free about myself. I realized about myself that I want someone who is equally confident and independent as me, and nothing else. I tried to except the lesser of that and it didn’t work out in my favor just because I am someone who will easily succumb to others and their feelings and give up a little of myself to please the other person. I realized, I hope everyone has and searches that out of a relationship. It’s not only important with one’s significant others’ but with one’s friends and family.
I am not saying that being 100% independent is the way to go. I firmly believe that people need support from others and love form others to succeed. I am saying that independence needs to be present in ones life to find happiness.